


more pining than an evergreen tree

by remembermyfic



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Entirely Self-Indulgent, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Toronto Maple Leafs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 14:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15865887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remembermyfic/pseuds/remembermyfic
Summary: JT expected a roster of young, excited, dynamic players when she signed with Toronto. She didn’t expect all the damn pining.(AKA: the 4 relationships Jacqueline Tavares plays catalyst for and the unexpected thing she gets out of it.)





	more pining than an evergreen tree

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely self-indulgent, very much not my best work and I’m unfortunately not even sorry. 
> 
> Okay, I’m a little sorry because like, please see not my best work. Also not beta-ed so mistakes are mine and probably more than I’d like to admit. And I might feel a little guilty for just how self-indulgent this is. 
> 
> **Also:** a lot of issues got handwaved in the creation of this fic. This was some serious escapism writing and so it doesn’t deal with a whole host of problems. That’s a deliberate writer’s choice because this isn’t meant to be any sort of deep-thinking character study or league analysis.  
>  _Thank you for your understanding._

**0**

It takes one practice with the entire team for Jacqueline to see what’s going on, and half a step off the ice at the end to determine that she’s not about to sit on the sidelines and watch this nonsense. She glances around the locker room, carefully observes the interactions of the team and bides her time.

“Fred,” she finally says, approaching him now that the majority of the team has already hit the showers. Freddy, who is meticulous about his pads, is still in his Under Armour. “The pining.”

Amusement immediately lights in his eyes. “Yes.”

She frowns. He knew about it, has known about it, and hasn’t done a damn thing? “How long?”

“Which one?” he asks with a low hum and Jacqueline straight up growls.

“Any of them! It’s out of hand. You’d think it was an epidemic. The Isles never had this problem.”

“Did the Isles know you were this dramatic?” Freddy asks, “And the Isles are made up of old marrieds.”

Which is valid, and that just pisses her off. It’s not quite correct anymore either, with Barz up with the big club. But Jacqueline isn’t about to start in on Barz’s issues, not when the kid brings more drama that is only tangentially related to her relationships. “We’re getting off track. The pining.”

“You keep saying it like it’ll change or something.”

And well, Jacqueline’s never met a challenge she hasn’t tackled head on. From the new trepidation in Freddy’s eyes, she figures her reputation has preceded her, at least in some respect. “Maybe not,” she agrees, “but we will.”

 

* * *

 

 **One  
** _Jake and Morgan_

She starts with the oldest. It seems like the most logical beginning. After all, Morgan wears an A and that should mean setting a good example for her younger counterparts, not mooning over her former roommate like some teen-angst filled CW drama.

“We’re not like that,” is what Mo tries to sell her when they’re out for lunch. “It’s never been like that.”

“Uh huh,” is Jacqueline’s skeptical response. She leans forward across the table because she wasn’t given the C on the island for being passive. “The same way Willy and Kappy aren’t like that, right? Or Mitchy and Matts?”

Morgan rolls her eyes so hard it looks like it hurts. “Jake and I are nowhere near that bad.”

“That’s because your pining has mellowed with years,” Jacqueline retorts. Morgan snorts, but Jacqueline pushes on, “I just don’t understand what’s stopping you. It’s not like there aren’t great examples of couples making it work in the show.” She can think of a minimum of nine off the top of her head, both homo- and heterosexual couples. “And not many have the benefit of being on the same team.”

The sigh Morgan releases kind of breaks Jacqueline’s heart a little. “I’m really just a friend, JT. Jake’s type is stereotypical hockey wife, and that certainly isn’t me.”

Jacqueline bites hard on her cheek to keep the smirk at bay. It’s her in. She can feel the plan forming in her mind.

“Plus,” Morgan goes on, “In a year he’ll be gone. Between signing Mitchy and Matts..” She shrugs, but Jacqueline is very aware of their cap crunch, thanks. “Dubas isn’t a miracle worker.”

Jacqueline’s never once revealed the pitch that had culminated in her seven year contract and she’s not about to spill the beans now. Certainly not when there’s a possibility she can use it to her advantage. “So that’s it? A year to sort it out – which is a lot more time than plenty of hockey couples – and you’re not even going to try?”

“Is this what your pep talks sounded like in New York?” Morgan fires back. “Guilt trips?”

Between determination and disappointment Jacqueline had never needed guilt. “I’m just saying. I’ve been here a hot minute and even I can see how you guys look at each other. It kind of isn’t fair to either of you, is it?”

 

“What the fuck?” Jake asks, and his shock is very real. Jacqueline anticipated that. “What the fuck does that mean, she doesn’t think-“ He cuts himself off and Jacqueline has only really heard tales of a temper he unleashes on the ice, but she thinks maybe this is the closest he comes when he’s off it. Figures Morgan would be the catalyst.

“I don’t have a type,” he finally says, enunciating like every single syllable is important.

“I mean, you do,” Jacqueline replies and rolls her shoulders. She still has weights to do, but when Jake had shown up she’d adjusted her schedule to fit this in. “If we count being in love with a single person a ‘type’.”

Jake’s brow furrows. Objectively, Jacqueline can see how his confusion could be cute she thinks. To her he just looks kind of dumb.

He shakes his head. “The point is, Mo doesn’t know what she’s talking about. The type thing or…” He waves his hands and Jacqueline vaguely wonders if she should be prepared to duck. “Have you seen her lay a hit? Or, fuck, last year on the powerplay with Mitchy? She doesn’t need… heels or makeup or whatever to be beautiful.”

Jaqueline hadn’t said a damn thing about Morgan’s beauty, positive or negative. She’d merely asked about Jake’s ‘type’. So, in the blandest media voice she saves for particularly irritating reporters, she says, “Have you told her you’re in love with her?”

His sputtering reaction just straight up annoys her. “Why would I-?”

“Do not finish that sentence. Why is everyone on this team so  _dumb_?”

“Hey! Rude.”

“Rude is subjecting new teammates to the damn pining happening on this godforsaken team.”

“Leave Mo and I out of that.”

Jacqueline sends him a long-suffering look. “You guys are the worst. You have years of pining behind you. Didn’t you live together?”

“She was a rookie.”

“And then she wasn’t,” she points out logically. “Still isn’t. Hasn’t been for a few years. In fact, I’d call her a stable NHL defensewoman.”

“Yeah,” he says and a smile blossoms over his face that makes Jacqueline a little sick to her stomach. “She played on Team NA. She’s pretty good.”

She just barely manages to keep from rolling her eyes. “This is disgusting.” She fixes him with an irritated glare. “You should tell her.”

“JT,” he says and sounds too defeated for a man that hasn’t even tried.

She’s shaking her head before the second syllable comes out of his mouth. “Your contract is up this season. What if you never get the chance? What if you’re gone and she finds someone else? You’re watching her be happy, from afar, with someone that isn’t you.”

There’s a beat, then multiple beats, like this is the first time Jake’s really considered the fact that there may come a day where Morgan isn’t a staple in his life. It’s then that Jacqueline realizes she’s made a startling miscalculation. His eyes go hard in determination and before she can even inhale, he’s grabbed his phone and dialed Morgan.

“Hi,” he says, short. “I’m in love with you.”

She groans but can still hear Morgan’s awkward laugh through the shitty phone speakers.

“I’m being serious, Mo. I- I’ve been in love with you forever.”

 

“You have to admit, it’s very Gards,” Freddy says, voice bland and he’s not wrong. It’s akin to all the times Jake wanders a little too far into the o-zone and there’s a fifty-fifty chance on him scoring versus it turning into an incredibly problematic scoring chance for the opposite team. “I assume she took it well.”

She groans and tips her head back on Freddy’s too-comfortable couch. It’s not something she’d ever wanted to find out. She loves her couch, but this is a whole other level. “I meant he should take her out, tell her in person.”

“I don’t think you get to pick,” he offers.

Jacqueline raises her head, catches Freddy’s amusement. She hates him. So much. “It’s not like you helped.”

“I remember specifically saying I wouldn’t,” he points out.

“Which I do not understand.” She sits up fully, leans forward so she can look at him directly. “Yeah, I’m not happy that he just up and fucking called her rather than going to her house with flowers or whatever, but now it’ll be done. We don’t have to watch the pining.”

“We get to watch the honeymoon phase instead.”

“Why are you like this?”

He’s smiling, that small private smile he has when she looks at him. “You, Jacqueline Tavares, are a closet romantic.”

She snorts, but doesn’t correct him. Doesn’t even put up the argument that it’s not the romance she likes so much as the lack of ridiculous faces she’s seen on any number of the rookies. Well, the not-so-rookies anymore, she guesses, but she thinks they’ll always be ‘the kids’ to the team. She also ignores her stomach and the way it flips when he murmurs her full name. It’s fine. He wouldn’t be the first teammate she had a weird crush on.

It’ll pass. It always does.

 

* * *

  **Two  
** _Connor and Zach_

“He’s just so smart, okay? And did you see the pictures this summer of him reading to kids? They’re unfair, Fred. Unfair.”

Jacqueline feels what she suspects is triumph pump through her blood and knows her face reflects it when she turns the corner to find Brownie, his head in his hands where his elbows are braced on his knees, and Fred, rolling his eyes. She gets the impression this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation.

“I just… I can’t do this anymore!”

“So, tell him.”

Brownie’s head slingshots up so fast Jacqueline is absently worried they’ll need to get a trainer. Freddy’s face is blank, but Jacqueline knows where to look now and can see the relief in the smoothing of the furrow in his brow. Yeah, that’s a conversation for later, the shit. He’s spent all this time telling her to leave the damn thing alone and yet. And yet.

“I can’t  _tell_ him, are you insane?”

“Were you always this dramatic?” She turns to Freddy. “Has he always been this dramatic?”

“That’s a question for Hyms.”

Brownie groans. “This is stupid. Feelings are stupid.”

“Feelings are stupid when you don’t deal with them,” Jacqueline replies, taking the bench on the other side of Brownie. “I did not take you for one to hide from his feelings. You or Hyms.”

“There was no reason to.”

Jacqueline exchanges a look with Freddy over Brownie’s head. “What changed?”

He graces her with an exasperated look. “JT. You can’t be in love with your teammates. Like. You have to know this.”

Jacqueline doesn’t laugh, but it’s a close thing. “Then we have an epidemic in the league,” she says, with a blandness that surprises her. Freddy rolls his eyes though, so Jacqueline pats herself on the back for a good comeback.

“There’s already so much expectation here, and look, I’m not stupid, if anything goes wrong  _both_ Hyms and I could get traded and it’s the  _Leafs_ , JT, if anyone gets what that means it’s you.”

“All of this is valid,” Jacqueline agrees. “Except the fact that there’s no way Kyle’s trading anyone because he’s proven to not really have a problem with couples on the Leafs.”

Granted, it’s just Morgan and Jake right now, but Jacqueline knows more is coming. Hell, she’s going to ensure it.

Brownie gives her a look. “Of course he’s not trading Mo or Gards, are you insane? But it’s well-documented that we’re overloaded at wing. You know what Hyms and I are? Two million dollar wingers.”

“That do the work no one wants JT, or Willy, or Matts, or Mitchy doing,” Freddy defends because he’s a good bro and he loves Brownie. Platonically, but definitely loves him. Brownie’s defensively sound, and Jacqueline figures Freddy’s soft spot for his defensively sound forwards is well earned.

“It doesn’t matter-“

“Right,” Jacqueline interrupts and tamps down the giddy thrill that at the idea of her and Freddy playing good cop-bad cop. “Because as long as you keep your domestic squabbles at home, no one is going to care if you’re in love with Hyms, or a random on the street.”

“Let it go! I am not going to tell Hyms I’m in love with him!”

Freddy goes absolutely still and Jacqueline finds her head swinging to the door. “Um,” she offers, as she watches Zach’s face slowly flush. “You’re SOL, Brownie.”

His head whips up and he looks absolutely panicked. She sees Freddy’s fingers twitch like he wants to hold Brownie in place. It’s probably not a bad plan, given his history.

“Connor,” Zach says, in that too-quiet voice that he sometimes uses with particularly nervous children. “Why not?”

Brownie’s mouth opens and closes a few times, like his brain is scrambling to come up with something to make this better. Eventually his shoulders slump. “Because you couldn’t turn me down if you didn’t know.”

Zach’s nodding but he most definitely does not seem prepared to take any steps closer. Jacqueline kind of wishes he would. She’s still kind of weirded out by the whole thing and worried Brownie’s going to bolt at the first opportunity. She has a reputation to maintain here, especially with Freddy literally four feet from her.

“Valid,” Zach says, like they’re having an argument on whether the CHL should full-ban fighting like the OHL essentially has. Which Jacqueline knows is an actual argument they’ve had. She’s heard that tone a hundred times while she tries to drown out the escalating voices. “But, like… and devil’s advocate here. What if I didn’t turn you down?”

Silence reigns for almost too long. Jacqueline actually thinks maybe they should get a trainer to perform CPR. But then Brownie breathes out a, “What?”

Zach shrugs. “You’re worried about me saying no, right? But what if I didn’t?”

“I…” He jolts and Jacqueline realizes it’s because Freddy’s elbowed him. “We’d go out?”

“Yeah,” and wow, that’s a lot of emotion packed into one word before Zach seems to get a hold of his chill again. “So. We should do that.”

“Do-“

“We should go out,” Zach goes on. “Like a date.” He cocks his head to the side. “Maybe wait on the love thing though, just so there’s something to look forward to.”

“Yeah,” Brownie replies, sounding a little like someone just boarded him pretty damn hard. “Sounds like a plan.”

Zach’s grin is small, shockingly shy, but entirely genuine. “Cool. After practice? Or like, maybe we should do dinner.”

Which is when Brownie seems to shake himself out of it, at least enough to realize there’s a decision to be made here. “Dinner. Dinner, for sure.”

“Okay,” Zach agrees. “Dinner. Tonight. I’ll pick you up.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Zach tilts his head. “Bikes?”

Brownie nods and is half way across the room before he says, “Yeah, bikes.”

Jacqueline doesn’t even think twice before she looks at Freddy, deadpan, and says, “You owe me coffee.”

He shrugs but agrees.

 

* * *

**Three**  
_Kaisa and Willy_

“Oh no, they definitely know,” Mitchy says and blows Jacqueline’s mind in five words. “It’s like, the worst-kept secret in the entire league, that they’re in love and stuff.”

And stuff. Jesus.

“But they’re not together.”

Mitchy shakes her head, sips at her frapp. How anyone digests and metabolizes as much sugar as Mitchy does is a miracle. “Willy thinks it’s too much. There are too many shadows.”

“Shadows.”

Mitchy makes a noise Jacqueline can’t quite pinpoint. “Shadows. Like Davo, you know? Or Matts. But Matts doesn’t leave that big of a shadow if you know where to look.”

Not that Mitchy’s biased or anything. Or, you know, not like Mitchy isn’t historically adept at finding her own spotlight.

“But like. Willy didn’t take that long to make the show, you know? And he was put up with me and Matts, all equals in the rookie game. Brownie and Hyms, too, but.”

But it was different for Mitchy, for Matts, for Willy. The three-headed monster in blue and white.

“And. Everyone talks about him. He’s the one the girls want to see at events and stuff. He’s the one with like, eight million Instagram followers.” She shrugs, but Jaqueline’s been around too many women to not notice the way the shrug is a little sharp around the edges. “Kass had a rough time making the roster.”

There’s a bite there that Jacqueline isn’t totally sure is warranted, but she understands; a defensiveness that is natural, but can sometimes get blurred between the lines of ‘woman’ and ‘NHL skill’. Jacqueline hasn’t seen enough of Kaisa’s game pre-2017 to evaluate Mitchy’s judgment.

“The point is, Willy thinks he’s being altruistic when he says he can’t because he doesn’t want more of the spotlight on her and Kass thinks she’s…” Mitchy wrinkles her nose and huffs out a breath. “It’s not that she’s not good enough? And it’s not quite that she wants him to sow his wild oats or anything she’s just… Kass is happy if Willy’s happy and Willy doesn’t let on he’s not happy, so they’re both happy.”

“Except they’re both unhappy.”

Mitchy grins around her straw. “Bingo.”

“And no one’s decided to talk some sense into anyone?”

Mitchy shrugs, but it’s not quite the sunshine happiness that is her trademark. “It’s hard, you know? It’s a lot of pressure. A relationship in general, I mean. Then you add the public and like,  _Toronto_.”

Jaqueline has heard all of the cautionary tales about Toronto: fans, media, coaches, teammates, there isn’t one aspect of the city and its obsession with its professional sports teams she hasn’t been thoroughly educated on. Even if that weren’t the case, there’s something haunted in Mitchy’s face that makes Jacqueline wonder if Mitchy understands Willy and Kaisa’s predicament better than most.

But that’s a problem for another day.

“You talk to him about it?”

“Matts has,” is Mitchy’s response, and yeah that’s kind of explanation enough for how Mitchy knows. “Kass is pretty tight-lipped about everything to anyone who isn’t Willy. And they’re not talking about it, so.”

So, no one knows how Kaisa feels. Probably. Jacqueline would bet there are some Marlies that have heard things. Kaisa is private, sure, but she isn’t an island.

Jacqueline also knows where the line is between gossiping, and getting the information straight from the horse’s mouth.

“You know what it’s like,” Willy says when she corners him about the whole thing. It’s Willy’s fault for posting a picture of him and Kaisa sacked out on the plane together. Freddy had shown it to her with a roll of his eyes, but Jacqueline’s getting pretty good at reading him too given the amount of time she spends lamenting to him about the pining. She suspects he finds the whole thing hilarious.

“It is easier to play the young, hot, single dude?” she retorts and regrets it when his face goes smug.

“Awe man, JT. You really think I’m not?”

“You’re a menace, is what you are, and  _off the market_.”

Willy wrinkles his nose and looks away. “She doesn’t need the attention,” is what he finally says, and yeah that’s some bullshit trying to masquerade as consideration right there.

“Have you asked her?”

He shrugs again, but his shoulders are so tense. “Don’t have to.” He shimmies a little, like he’s trying to shake off the tension. It doesn’t work. “Have you seen the shit she gets on Insta?”

Jacqueline isn’t on Instagram and Willy knows that. Granted, Mitchy’s pretty open about the online crap. She’d let PR use her profile as an example during the pre-season social media seminar. It hadn’t been near as bad as some of the shit people had sent Jordan, but Jacqueline knows it isn’t a competition. Regardless of who it is, it’s appalling.

The point is: “Being with her isn’t going to change it.” Then, the dagger, “You’re not being fair to either of you. And neither is she.”

“We’re fine.”

“Are you?” she asks. “And even if you’re fine, couldn’t you be better?”

“What do you want me to tell you?”

Jacqueline knows she has to tread carefully. His concerns are neither new, nor unique. She’s friends with PK after all and he and Carey had both weathered a social media storm when they’d gone public. Not to mention Jordan, who is infinitely more vocal about the shit Ryan takes for her relationship with McDavid than she cares about the shit she gets for Hall.

“Give her the option,” Jacqueline finally requests, softly. “Because she’s waiting for you to make a decision and right now, you’re telling her she’s not worth it.”

“Low blow.”

She shrugs, even as her stomach twists. “Even if she knows it’s not true, even if she’s consciously convinced herself that she agrees it’s too much hassle, it’s because it was your decision, first. And,” she pushes on because she can predict his next argument, “She loves and respects you too much to push for something she thinks you’ve chosen.”

 

Jacqueline doesn’t get her hopes up that it’ll change things immediately. Which is a good thing because they go on to win some games, to lose some games. And then they play Boston.

She doesn’t think much about Willy disappearing. Hell, she doesn’t really notice either and wouldn’t have cared if it weren’t for the fact that Kaisa shows up at her door a look that is complicated to decipher, but is definitely negative all over her face. Jacqueline doesn’t hesitate to let her in because yeah, she and Kaisa aren’t necessarily close, but sometimes a woman just wants to chill with another woman. “Didn’t want to play euchre?”

Kaisa flops onto the bed. “There’s only so much Mitchy and Matty I can take. And Morgan and Jake are…”

Busy. Morgan-and-Jake. There are a number of ways to fill in that blank and they all amount to not being an option. It’s not quite a cop-out, but it’s not quite the truth either and Jacqueline can tell. Yet, she’s not convinced it’s her place to meddle. Not right now, anyway, not with Kaisa like this.

“Movie?”

“Yeah.” And there’s definitely relief in Kaisa’s voice which kind of puts Jacqueline’s back up, if she’s honest.

“Where’s your counterpart?” she asks instead, a little careful, just testing. She avoids Kaisa’s eyes while she asks, flicking through the channels for something to watch.

“It’s Pasta’s night,” is Kaisa’s telling response.

There’s a rainbow of emotions in those three words, and yet Jacqueline still finds herself gently teasing when she says, “That a problem?”

What she doesn’t expect, is Kaisa’s heavy sigh. “They have history.”

“Okay,” Jacqueline says cautiously and turns the television. It isn’t where she expected the conversation to go, but she wasn’t a captain in New York because she has a pretty face.

“He likes people,” Kaisa finally says and there are heavy implications in the way she says it. “All kinds of people.”

Jacqueline pauses to see if Kaisa’s going to offer anything else before she says, “It’s a booty call.”

Kaisa flops to the bed. “He asked Matty to cover for him. In case he breaks curfew.”

There are two ways this conversation can go and Jacqueline knows it. She also knows that the fork in the road is definitely going to be determined by what she says next. “Are you going to sleep? If he does miss curfew.”

“I’m used to it.””

Jacqueline nods, considering. “You don’t have to like it.”

Kaisa takes forever to respond, long enough that Jacqueline wonders if she’d miss stepped. Eventually, she inhales, but it shakes worryingly. “He made his choice.”

Jacqueline feels her heart literally stop for a split second. “You guys…”

“No,” Kaisa says with a hollow laugh. “Not…” She thunks her head on the bed a few times before she sits up to face Jacqueline head on. “Nothing has every happened. He made it clear early in the A, that it would never happen.”

“You didn’t try and change his mind?”

“For a bit of fun?”

“Your emotions aren’t ‘fun’, Kass,” Jacqueline points out. “Neither are his.”

“Willy falls in love every thirty seconds.”

“Not like… You guys are different. Especially together.”

“It doesn’t matter to him.” It’s a telling phrase, but Jacqueline’s kept from answering by a quick, vaguely panicked knock on her door. It’s Willy on the other side, who looks anxious enough that it puts Jacqueline’s hackles up.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Willy answers quickly. He shifts from foot to foot. “Mitchy said Kass left in a weird mood and she’s not answering her phone, so.” He tries for a cool shrug that misses the mark by a country mile. Jacqueline’s eyes narrow.

“How many rooms did you go to?”

Willy deflates. “Too many. Fred said she might be here. Something about girl talk.” Half a beat later his eyes light up. Jacqueline doesn’t have to look to know Kaisa’s poked her head around the corner. “Kasu.”

Jacqueline cannot believe the sheer  _emotion_ in the two damn syllables. It’s offensive, is what it is and is entirely supported by the bag of Sour Patch Kids he pulls from who knows where.

“Mitchy said you were sad.”

“Oh  _hell_ no.”

Jacqueline hadn’t realized the words were hers, doesn’t really clue in until she’s dragged Willy into the room and the door’s slammed shut. She slides the chain in for good measure because this is ridiculous and absolute bullshit.

“JT?”

Jacqueline crosses her arms and stares them down. “You’re going to deal with this, and you’re going to do it now,” she informs them. “Nylander. Pasternak. Booty call or no?”

Willy blinks. “That’s none of your-“

“Jacqueline,” Kaisa starts and Willy whips to her.

“You told her?”

Jacqueline has never seen Kaisa’s spine that straight. “I didn’t tell her anything, just that it’s Pasta’s night and you have a history.”

There’s a petty look on Willy’s face that Jacqueline, personally, will not stand for. He makes it worse when he says, “Jealousy doesn’t-“

“Do  _not_ finish that sentence,” she warns him viciously. “Neither of you get to pretend you’re the scorned ex when you both refuse to fucking try.”

Willy makes a punched out sound and Kaisa narrows her eyes. Jacqueline, quite frankly couldn’t give less of a shit. “Have you even talked about this?” she asks sharply. “Like, actually had an adult conversation about how you both love each other but seem prepared to let the media dictate your relationship.”

“It’s not the media,” Willy starts, which, he should probably start digging up sometime soon.

“The pressure is real,” Kaisa picks up.

“Kasu deserves better than that spotlight because of me.”

“Willy doesn’t need more-“ But Kaisa cuts herself off to look at Willy like he’s brand new. “What?”

Willy blinks at her cautiously. “You already get enough shit, online and in the media. It wouldn’t be better if we were…” He swallows like he can’t finish the sentence.

“William,” Kaisa says with put-upon patience. “It wouldn’t be worse if we were together. What the fuck?”

“Could you imagine posting a couple pic?”

Jacqueline almost suggests the solution to that problem is not posting anything about their relationship at all. In reality, she definintely knows the damage is already done.

“We already do,” Kaisa points out. “And you already know I can handle anything the press wants to throw at me.”

“You shouldn’t have to!”

“We all do,” Kaisa argues with a calm that Jacqueline’s kind of proud of. “JT-“

Jacqueline’s already nodding, long before Willy’s head even starts to turn for her reference. “I can post a picture of my family and I’ll get shit.”

Willy’s face contorts. “It would be worse.”

“It’s better when there’s someone to remind you commenters aren’t worth it,” Jacqueline can’t help but point out because this feels so close to the tipping point and she needs them to go over.

Willy looks to Kaisa, like she’s going to have a better argument. Kaisa eyes him for a moment, then she says, “I thought it was the attention, or that you just… relationships weren’t your thing.”

Willy shakes his head. “You showed me those comments once and it was like… it was you and your dog, Kasu. What are they going to say about us?”

“Nothing worse than they’d say about any boyfriend.” Kaisa shrugs. “You’re not that special, Nylander.”

He makes a wounded sound, but in two steps he’s in front of her, reaching for her, and Kaisa looks like she thinks there’s no way this could be real. Jacqueline is smug for about two-point-five seconds before Willy has his arms around Kaisa, pulling her in. She’s happy about the kissing, really, but then the kissing turns into  _kissing_ and oh, yeah, that’s Willy’s tongue.

“Okay,” she says loudly. “That’s enough.” They all but startle apart which, really. Really?! They’re that into each other that they fucking forgot she was in the room. She’s going to kill them both, slowly, for putting her through this. “This is my room and my bed. If you would like either of these things, go find your own.”

Willy’s eyes glint and Kaisa still looks a little stunned so Jacqueline feels compelled to add. “And tell Matty and Mitchy. No one needs to walk in on that.”

Kaisa grins this time, only a little bit of a leer. But that’s compared to the way Willy looks over his shoulder in a weird mix of ‘I’m going to absolutely wreck you’ and ‘holy shit I can’t believe this is real’, so it could be worse than Jacqueline’s seeing. Which is why she figures she’d better text Matts and Mitchy herself, just to make sure.

In the meantime, she knows she’s too keyed up to sleep and if she’s not going to sleep, she’s damn well going to not sleep with someone else.

 “I’ve managed to get three couples together where you were just watching pining,” she says, when Freddy opens his door.

“Good evening to you, too. No, of course I wasn’t sleeping.”

He was maybe thinking about it, given the way the bed’s pulled down. However, “Don’t try that with me. You were in Patty’s room until twenty minutes ago. You told Willy where Kass was.”

Mitchy had texted about Kaisa at the same time Matts had texted about Willy. Jacqueline had advised them both that maybe the mandates around guys and girls not sharing a room should be overlooked tonight.

She plops down on the side that is still made, wiggles the pillows around. Freddy blinks at her for a moment. “Make yourself at home.”

She hums a little before she says, “Thanks for sending Willy my way.”

“He was looking for Kass. He had Sour Patch Kids. You know what he’s like when he can’t find her.”

Codependent shits. “And not once, in any of those situations, did you think that maybe it was worth a conversation about, you know, being a couple? Getting together? Only sleeping with each other so Kass didn’t have to be sad and Willy didn’t have to buy her Sour Patch Kids?”

“Kass was moping,” Freddy corrects and climbs into the unmade side. “And Willy likes buying her Sour Patch Kids.”

Jacqueline hums and lets herself kind of get comfortable. She likes to think she’s learned a lot about Freddy – a lot that she likes and that’s a story for another day. She likes his sharp humour, the quiet, private way he goes about his routines, workouts, his life; she likes this too, that she knows he kicks most people out of his room but he’s willing to let her hang around. “That’s enabling.”

“You made them talk about their feelings,” Freddy points out as he flips the TV to his Netflix. One day she’s going to fuck up all his recommendations, just because he left her in charge of this pining shit. “Now we get the gross honeymoon phase instead of the pining phase.”

“You have never once expressed a hatred for the honeymoon phase,” she retorts with a half-hearted glare. “What are we watching?”

“No more documentaries,” he replies. “That’s all we’ve watched on the road since January.”

 

* * *

  **Four**  
_Mitchy and Auston_

It’s an accident that Mitchy and Matts take the longest to deal with. Really, she kind of wonders if it would be the easiest, if maybe she should have tackled that one first and not Morgan and Jake. It’s well after bye-week when Jacqueline gets around to dealing with Mitchy and Matts, but it does afford her the permission to outright ask.

“You and Matts.”

“Is this the ‘you’re too codependent’ lecture?” Mitchy asks and tugs on her laces. Matts isn’t coming, Mitchy had said with a wrinkle of her nose. It’s the time of season he really starts to look like a zombie. “Because like, we’ve had that with every member of the team. And Marty. And Bozie. And Uncle Leo, actually.” She beams at Jacqueline. “It hasn’t stuck.”

“All those conversations about codependency and they never thought to talk to you guys about how to communicate your feelings?”

“Got lost in the shuffle, I guess,” is Mitchy’s frankly ridiculous and blasé response, but Jacqueline figures she’s also startlingly aware. Mitchy is exciting and energetic and constant and it hides a woman that is maybe too observant for her own good.

“Lost in the shuffle.”

Mitchy shrugs. “I don’t really make a secret of how I feel, so like, he has to know.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m, like, literally always flirting with him.”

“You’re, like, literally always flirting,” Jacqueline points out placidly.

“Fair.” Because Mitchy is generally self-aware. She cocks her head Jacqueline’s way as she finishes tying her skate. “You know, everything we’d heard about you said you weren’t a meddler. Reserved, I think is what they called you.”

“You forgot determined,” Jacqueline replies easily. She didn’t, after all, become the first exceptional player by hiding in a corner.

Mitchy makes a face. “We’re fine, JT. It’s not interfering with anything.”

And wow, is that a bald-faced lie. “It’s interfering with your love life.”

“Since when do you care?”

The thing is, Jacqueline has, whether consciously or not, been preparing for this moment. Neither Mitchy nor Matts necessarily makes a secret of when they hook up – and they both do. Sure, she’ll give Matts the edge in numbers, but Mitchy isn’t innocent in the whole game either. As a result, she’s seen the faces her teammates make, the way everything is a little awkward the morning after until some sort of token apology is made: a concession. Sometimes it’s Matts letting Mitchy drag him into some reality show on the plane. Sometimes, it’s Mitchy bringing an extra bowl of strawberries to Matts at breakfast.

Either way, Jacqueline knows she has to tread carefully here. “Is there a reason you’re not hooking up with each other?”

“JT,” Mitchy says with a look that says she regrets everything that has ever come out of Jacqueline’s mouth. Which is rude. So much for veteran respect. “Jacqueline.”

“Team dynamic hasn’t changed with Kass and Willy. Or Mo and Jake. Or Brownie and Hyms.”

Mitchy whistles lowly, but it’s a mocking whistle. “Nah. Neither of us really cares about team dynamics. Like, yeah I want to play the rest of my career with him and vice versa – yeah, we’ve talked about it, shut up – but like, we’re realistic about it. It might happen, which could be cool, but I’ll have to take a discount at some point because as if the team is paying Matts anything less than top dollar.”

“He could choose the discount.”

“Nah, his agent won’t let him, even if Ema chews him out about it because it means they can’t afford me anymore.”

“Ema.”

“Shut up.”

“No no, tell me more about how you call your parents by their first names and yet, have decided a relationship isn’t in the cards.”

“He calls my mom Mrs. Marner.”

Jaqueline fixes her with a look. “Mitchy.”

Mitchy has the grace to blush, thank god. “What! He refuses. My mom gets so mad at him.”

“ _Michelle_.”

She huffs.

“It’s a relationship without the sex. You’re emotionally invested, your families are emotionally invested, the internet ships the hell out of you, don’t think I’m not paying attention to the memes in the group chat.”

Mitchy rolls her eyes. “Their hearts are in the right place.”

“So, what is going on?”

It takes more than a couple of beats for Mitchy to lose all the bravado. The shrug she gives Jacqueline this time is markedly less cocky. “I told you. He knows, and he… He’s never so much as tried, you know? Like, no special dinners, or flowers just because, or anything that would mean he wants more. And he still goes out and hooks up, even though I’m right here so like. Maybe he isn’t ready.” She swallows and then seems to shake herself, sit straighter. “Or he’s not into like, an actual relationship, and I’m not going to be that girl, you know? Because he flirts too, a lot, and with a lot of people. I’m not special.”

“Holy fuck.”

“What?”

“Mitchy, you absolute  _idiot_.”

“Hey!”

“No, what the actual fuck. That is the literal dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.” Her skates are long-forgotten as she blinks at Mitchy, completely and utterly floored. “He keeps Skittles in his bag because you eat them before a game.”

“So does Kass.”

“He’s been to your parents’ place for Christmas three years running.”

Here, she winces. “I actually went to his last year, because we were playing in Glendale-“

“Which makes it  _worse_ because I bet your family was totally on board with that.”

“Well, yeah. My mom loves Ema too.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“It’s not worth it, okay,” Mitchy finally explodes. “He’s my best friend, and he puts up with so much of my shit, because I know, okay? I know what everyone thinks of me, and Matts never makes me feel like I have to calm down, or whatever. And I’m not going to lose that. I won’t, JT.”

“You  _won’t_ ,” Jacqueline echoes.

“Look,” and Mitchy sounds irritated now, which is rare enough that Jacqueline takes note. “Can we just get through practice, please?”

She stomps away before Jacqueline has a chance to respond, but that’s totally cool. Jacqueline pulls out her phone, flicks down to Freddy’s number.  _Tell Matts next time he wants to take Mitchy out to get flowers_.

Freddy sends back a cherry blossom emoji.

 

Two days later, Jacqueline enters the locker room to find Matts blushing ruthlessly, Willy grinning beside him. She tries to think of what could have put that look on Matts’ face, if there was a new milestone he’d hit, or another record he’d broken. Until a couple of minutes later Mitchy stepped in, finding Matts immediately and going the same shade of red. It puts a giddy tension in the air until Mitchy bumps her against the boards when they’re out on the ice.

“I might have been wrong.”

Jacqueline flips a puck to Naz, who streaks up towards Mac. “About?”

“Auston.”

That sure as hell catches Jacqueline’s attention. “What?”

Mitchy’s chewing her mouthguard, flipping it in her mouth. “He um. When I said I wasn’t anything special.”

“Oh Jesus.”

Except Mitchy’s back to that same shade of red and Jacqueline wants to laugh. “He sent me like, six pots of daffodils. And he knows I can’t take care of plants for shit.”

Jacqueline does let herself chuckle with a shake of her head. “But you wanted flowers.”

“He brought me daisies too. And then took me out to Canoe. God, they do a beef tenderloin that is…” She makes a noise. “I don’t think I knew what beef tenderloin was but like-“

“I get it.” Jacqueline’s kind of thankful Mitchy follows her into line for their next drill. She wants to know, and Mitchy so obviously wants to tell her, but not to the point where they get in trouble for their lack of focus. Matts is safely on the other side of the ice too, though he keeps looking over like Mitchy’s something new he’s just discovered.

“He walked me home too,” Mitchy goes on. “Like, he drove, JT.”

“True love, right there.” It’s meant as a joke, kind of, in the way that the fact that Mitchy and Matts love each other is clear as day, apparently for everyone not named Michelle Marner and Auston Matthews. Except for the fact that even Jacqueline knows Matts does not drive in Toronto if Mitchy will, so it’s not exactly a shock when Mitchy’s face dissolves into something too fond.

“He hates driving.”

Jacqueline feels her heart go fond because yeah, as much as it had just been damn annoying, it is sweet to see Mitchy in this much awe over what is likely the smallest change in her relationship with Matts. Mitchy nudges her again, still looking shyly thrilled.

“Thanks, JT.”

Jacqueline smiles, rubs Mitchy’s helmet. “Anytime.”

 

* * *

  **+1.**

They do make it to the second round this time, though they lose to the Pens in Pittsburgh in six. Jacqueline thinks she hates the Pens and probably always will. Ovi’s at least polite when she wins. Canada or no Canada, Jacqueline’s played against Crosby enough that the smirk irritates her. It’s a subdued locker room. Expectations had been met, in a way, because they’d made it out of the first round, but Jacqueline knows this feeling too. She’s been here before and yeah, it sucks. She’d felt like this was it this time.  

She flops down beside Freddy on the bus because he won’t ask her questions. What he does do is glance over at her. “If you apologize, I’m not letting you watch Planet Earth.”

It surprises her, if she’s honest. She’d kind of expected Freddy to want his hotel room to himself. “I wasn’t going to-“

“You were. Mitchy already did. Four times.”

At least there’s affection there, not that it was Mitchy’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s really. They’d played a hard-fought game, which makes the 4-3 loss all the more jarring. They’d come so close; Jacqueline herself had missed three scoring chances in the third. Instead, she huffs out a breath. “The fucking Penguins.”

He chuckles, but it’s low and a little off. Jacqueline gets it. She pulls her iPad out of her bag, props it up on her knee and nudges her shoulder into Freddy’s until he’s in the prime watching position.

“You know this’ll be better at the hotel.”

“Shut up and watch the sloths.”

They stick close to each other as the group moves through the hotel lobby, and he pauses with her while she unlocks her room. “Mine?”

Her hesitation is a blink-and-miss-it kind of thing. It’s unexpected, but Jacqueline can’t say she doesn’t want it. “Yeah. Give me like-“

His hand lands between her shoulder blades and wow, that’s unexpected, too. “Whatever you need. Text me.”

If she doesn’t, he won’t hold it against her, she knows that. She can also feel the shift happening here and it’s new. Well more than new, because this is a new team and Jacqueline certainly hadn’t been looking for anything when she’d arrived. Well, a Cup, but that’s going to have to go on hold for another year.

Freddy though, Freddy doesn’t have to.

She thinks about it as she strips down, showers for real in with the body wash and loofa she keeps for bad games. She thinks of the way Morgan had nudged into Jake’s shoulder back at PPG; the way Willy had reached out for Kaisa to help her off the bench; the way Zach had glanced around before pressing his lips quickly to Brownie’s cheek; the way Matts had his head bent over Mitchy’s on the bus, Mitchy cuddled into the smallest ball she could make herself.

She thinks about Freddy, who is prepared to marathon Planet Earth and/or its sequel because they’ve just been eliminated from the playoffs.

Which is why, when he opens the door, she says, “What are we doing?”

Freddy, bless him, answers with a very honest, “Whatever you want to be doing.”

Which isn’t a code. If she told him she wanted to watch snow leopards and mope about their elimination, he’d let her curl up on the bed and they wouldn’t have to talk about how she only wants to hang with him, how he’s letting her stick close despite his usual bad game routine of isolating himself.

“I’m into talking about feelings,” she finally starts slowly as he makes enough room for her to slip inside. “I’ve made a campaign of it.”

“I know.”

She nods, because he does, better than anyone. Even now, he stands in front of her, an escape route at her back should she want it. She’s pretty sure she doesn’t. “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t think you did,” Freddy replies.

“Okay.” Then, she feels compelled to say, again, “I didn’t know.”

He rolls his eyes and yeah, okay, it’s kind of attractive. “Jacqueline-”

“Oh.”

“Oh?” he asks and yes, excellent, there’s amusement again.

He’s only ever called her Jacqueline once, that she can remember. She’d forgotten how it felt. “That’s good,” she says. “This could be good.”

He’s laughing at her, she can tell. She can’t say she’s upset about it. “Of course it will be good.”

“Okay,” she says again, and yeah part of her hates how breathless she sounds.

“Okay what?”

Which is the question in itself. “Tonight, we’re going to watch Planet Earth, maybe…” She cannot make herself say cuddle, not when it comes to her and Freddy. The way his mouth quirks up at the corners makes her think she doesn’t have to. “And when we get back we’ll…”

“Go out,” he says, quiet and steady. “I’ll take you out.”

“And it’ll be a date.”

“And it’ll be a date,” he agrees.

“And then…”

“JT,” he interrupts, takes her hand to tug her in. He doesn’t do more than hug her and she hugs him back, easily. She can’t say she’d been into men as dense as Freddy until she’d met, well, Freddy. “Then we’ll see. No one’s in a hurry.”

She looks up at him, smiles. “I told the kids talking about your feelings was better than pining.”

“Get on the bed, Jacqueline.” 


End file.
